what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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