i think my tv is drunk
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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