omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
