erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
