this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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