i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
