how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
