My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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