if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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