We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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