sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize