As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
