We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
