i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
