Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
