We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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