im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize