i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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