You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
