the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
