Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
