yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
