eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
