Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
