If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
