I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
