last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
