what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
