You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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