So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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