A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
