So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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