I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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