from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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