those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
