I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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