is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
