I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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