new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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