My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Randomize
