yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think my fart just growled at me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
