Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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