i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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