I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
