I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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