are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
