Its about making memories worth repressing
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize