Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
