with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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