do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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