i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
