We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
