well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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