I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She tied me up with her honor cords...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize