We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
