Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The air was thick with penises
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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