Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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