I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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