i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
