just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Oh god it's open bar.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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