Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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