Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
