batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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