I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize