Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize