I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize