I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
