Got a toothbrush?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
