I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
