I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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