What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
