I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
