it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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