Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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