I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
