Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
