I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i out mim tonsoeep
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