it glows. i had to have it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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