And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
